Middot - Character Traits

“Who is the truly valorous individual? The one who conquers his base instincts.” Pious abstinence consists of three main ingredients: abstinence in the realm of pleasures, abstinence in the realm of laws, and abstinence in the realm of conduct.

There are rules of legal conduct and there are rules of pious conduct. A person who is fit for such is called upon to adopt pious conduct. Pious abstinence is not for everybody, but those who are able to behave in such a manner uplift everybody else.

A person is not permitted to abstain from those permissible pleasures which strengthen him, make him happy, and improve his state of mind. If a person does abstain from such things, he will have to account for his behavior before the Almighty.

Honor is one of man's greatest stumbling blocks, and it is impossible for a person to serve God and be a truly faithful servant so long as he is concerned about his own honor. Indeed, according to the sages “there is no honor but Torah” (Avot 6:3).

Jealousy sows destruction. But a person who has faith does not become jealous. Such a person knows that everything comes from God, that the Creator gives every person exactly what he ought to have. He understands that everything is for the best.

A short-tempered person tends to justify his own actions and to blame others. A person must learn how to stop and ask forgiveness, to admit having been wrong, and to appease those who have been offended. “Be slow to anger and easy to appease.”

One should not think that pride brings a person confidence and happiness, while humility causes a sense of meekness and sorrow. This is not true. In fact, the opposite is true. It is humility that brings true happiness, while pride brings sorrow.

Just as “cleanliness” must reside in deeds, so must it reside in traits. The work involved in changing one's traits is more difficult than that involved in changing one's deeds. This is because changing traits means doing battle with one's own nature.